another day, another thought

Eating healthy is hard, controlling portions is even harder for me. I'm trying this thing about not going back for seconds at any meal. I think that will really help me control portions and when I make casserole or lasagne, make reasonable portions. I like to eat and it's something I've struggled with every day. I am trying to control myself and change my eating habits. I'm just really tired of being a "big girl."

Things on the homefront are a little better. Still working on my marriage and improving our relationship. I'm going to get us to do the love dare together. It's a dare to married couples to really delve deep into their love for each other. I'm very interested in this because we have gotten close to the point of talking about splitting up and I don't ever want that to happen. So if there is a way that I can learn to show my love and devotion and commitment, then I'm going to do my best to do it and save my marriage. I am going to fight to hold onto my marriage and nothing is going to stop me.

There are some days that I get soo sad and just don't want to do anything. I really miss my family and friends from home. I miss just hanging out around the house and walking down to the beach. Yeah, I live in Hawaii and the beach isn't far away and I don't work and I am at home all day, but it's different. Santa Cruz is like no place I've been. I miss it. It will always be home and I can't wait to go back. I just want to be happy and feel at home. Hawaii is not home.